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What I Learned From My Mother's Home Funeral

3/24/2018

 
Picture
by Lee Webster
​
I’m standing in the kitchen of our old Vermont farmhouse at the age of 14 with my mother’s eyes boring into mine as she is telling me that under no circumstances will I or any of my four siblings be taking care of her in her old age. She is insisting that, when the time comes, I will take her to a nursing home and boot her out the door.
 
It’s clear to me that talking with her about what she wants to have happen to her body after her death is just not on the table, now or in the future, and I was right about that years later when, despite recurring attempts during her favorite show, NCIS, we never quite got to the point. “Gee, Mom, that looks like a nasty way to die. I wonder if he’ll be buried or cremated? Which do you think you’d prefer? What? Oh, yeah, autopsy first, then we never find out. OK.”


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    NHFREA welcomes original writings. Most of our readers are interested in new thinking about ways to make after-death care and memorialization of loved ones more meaningful, eco-friendly, and cost conscious. Contact us for submission guidelines.

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  • Home
  • How To
    • Have a Home Funeral
    • Perform Body Care
    • Have a Home Burial
    • Green Up a Funeral
    • Pay for a Funeral
    • Find Financial Assistance
    • Find Guides and Doulas
  • Resources
    • Find it Fast
    • FAQs
    • Home Funerals >
      • State Requirements for Home Funerals
      • New England Legal Requirements
    • Green Burial >
      • Green Burial Cemeteries in the US and Canada
      • Legal Burial Requirements by State
      • Natural Burial Bylaw Language
    • Shop Local
    • Media Resources
    • Important Links
    • Funeral Service >
      • 2020 Price Survey
    • For Professionals
    • Vermont Resources
  • Presentations
    • Speakers & Trainers
    • Workshops
    • In-Services
  • Blog
  • Writings
  • Covid-19 and Funerals: What You Need to Know
  • Contact